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Where's The Woman In Me?
ela_bird wrote in fully_flowered

I am feeling discouraged and very uncreative lately.
Something is weighing heavily on me and today was very depressing.
I kept dropping things during breakfast, burned my meal, messed up the paint on the wall, found my beautiful hydrangea dead and brittle, and am feeling overall super-un-womanly.

You know what that's like, right? I just haven't taken good care of myself lately because I've been so preoccupied doing other things that I look at myself in the mirror and say, wow... I need to get my hair done, exfoliate, do my nails, pluck my brows, put on some makeup, shave, wow...

I just... don't feel like a woman at all. I'm disappointed in myself.

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i wonder.
you are a woman, so you might feel (tell me if you feel) that you'd like or need some feminine care. quiet chats, mutual touch or massage, the hammam that?

i mean, not that you might have exactly that but maybe something.

the way you express yourself, your art, spirit. a swim at a pool and the group shower after, all the womens bodies...
or a massage, breathing and receiving and opening.

you feel like you need a gift.
what could you give yourself?

A massage sounds heavenly. I have not had one in years and my sore legs would dearly appreciate it.

I need to give myself 'joy' but that is a gift that is very hard to come by. Especially after all I have been through.

As far as something like hammam, I do not think that's it. It's more internal feeling.

...maybe part of the gift is to acknowledge all that you have been through and survived.

can you see your strong, radiant survivor self?
and do you have a massage practitioner (or friend) to call upon?

I will try to see my strong, survior self tomorrow. Today, I am too exhausted to visualize. My thoughts wander offishly without any real direction.

I will have to find a massage lady nearby, definitely...

i want you to feel all your selves and sides.


and you sweet molassesjane ... i will eat you up ... nomnomnom

You go, Ms M. Your words help us all.
And Ms Ela bird - I hope you make that massage appointment today - and while you're waiting for it, if you can't get in today, maybe you can stop off at a nail place and indulge in a pedicure.

how beautiful you are that you are able to be here with this ... with us ... *hands you a steaming mug of tulsi rose tea*

breathe in beloved. you are loved.

I think a lot of times those things that make us end up feeling "unwomanly" are the aspects of our lives that prove to us how womanly we are. We don't take care of ourselves, because we are busy taking care of others, etc...

All the things you mentioned come under the category of "traditional" feminine values. But what were the things you accomplished and shone at during the same time period? Because a lot of times, I feel like I've failed as wife and mother when I have over-achieved at being caretaker and provider. Sometimes it takes an outside eye to point out the balance, but it is up to us to make them a part of our "womanly" ideals...

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