Previous Entry Share Next Entry
mothers day
my eye
vaysha wrote in fully_flowered
I want to talk about mothers.
being one
having one
mother in laws
the good the bad and the ugly.


My mom is fierce and loving.
She's getting old now and that is scary to me.

My mother in law and I have had our ups and downs.
She has some serious issues but I've learned how to realize that some of her behaviors are from those issues, the painful places she is working on healing...that may never be healed and I have managed to create some healthy boundaries in which I am no longer a part of the stage in which she acts out her victim role. Now I feel sadness for her as some of her children and grandchildren are completely cut out of her life. I am grateful for her. She has a strong side that is like a solo artemis of the forest. I've been inspired by her artistry, her solitariness, her connection to nature. She birthed my best friend, my lifes greatest gift. He is the most beautiful person I've met.

I love being a mom. I love my kids and I worry over them like the italian mama I am. I am aware that it's to the point of unhealthiness. I tell the kids I know that. I laugh at myself. We laugh together and make jokes and light of it. I catch myself and apologize. I let them know I am human and imperfect and scared sometimes and that it's ok and please don't take it on. I hope that is enough to spare them from the negative effects but I am uncertain. I have to be ok with that because the awareness is all I have- I work on it but I am a human being, a work in progress. I learn so much from my kids. They and Dean are a constant gift in my life that I am humbled and grateful for.

I have a lot of beautiful friends that have and continue to mother me. Of course they are more than that they are friends too- there is nothing wrong with mothering. When we mother someone why is that like a dirty word or a bad co dependent thing. We need one another. Bring on the mothering. The world is a better place for it and mothers rock.

  • 1
Happy Mother's Day!!

me too.

I would like to share a mother story too.

During my marriage (which ended a good 11 years ago) I had a Lebanese mother in law. I am Australian (an unusual one).

I came into her family as an unwed single mother pregnant to her son.

And it was an uncomfortable relationship. After my divorce I never thought I'd see her again.

Last year she came and threw her arms around me with mother's love. My brother died and she came to see me.

It was unbelievable and a miracle of healing.

People can be pretty special.

oh I love your story- thank you.
I got happy goosebumps.
:)

Tomorrow I get to go to my Mother's house and see not only her, but my Grandmother too. My mother has been having some health problems the past few months and it's been scary and has also driven home how much my position in life has changed since my step father died three years ago. My mom and I have always been ummm overly? close.

I lost my (almost) mother in law about nine years ago to breast cancer. By the time she'd gone to the doctor the tumor was the size of a grapefruit. I miss her and miss her for Cyd. Yet have started to see some of the intricacies of their relationship lately and feel quite a bit defensive on his behalf sometimes.

I myself won't ever have children, but I do believe I have a strong mothering part of my personality.

My spiritual mother is Yemanja (Brazilian pronunciation) who in the tradition I follow is considered the mother of all life. When I feel that I'm hanging out in the wind with no one to mother ME because I'm so busy taking care of everyone else she is who I think of.

How did you find your Spiritual Mother? I think your last sentence is just beautiful.

~Ela.

i get mothering from my male lovers, too.
:)

yes, Dean and the boys have some of that to offer too- good point.

Many people don't realize that people who do not have any human children are mothers too. I am a mother to my parrots and I've always treated them with the utmost love and fierce protection. They are my children and I love them so much that it's often overwhelming. My choice to remain human-child-free was made early in my life and I am glad I have remained as such. I am, however, no less a mother to my flighted children than the best mother is to her human babies.

~Ela.

To comment on: " I catch myself and apologize. I let them know I am human and imperfect and scared sometimes and that it's ok and please don't take it on. I hope that is enough to spare them from the negative effects but I am uncertain."

I can assure you it means more to them that you acknowledge that and understand it than it would if you refused to accept a different viewpoint. If my own mother had even once in her life admitted to her own fault I would have a great deal more respect for her.

~Ela.

thank you.
It is my belief that if we cannot express our faults to our children the only thing we teach them is that it's shameful to be human and be less than perfect and that we are above the accountability we expect from them.

I loved this... my husband and I have always said that our cats were like children. Even now I tell my son to "go find out what your sisters are up to!". Hee!

My mother was an inspiration to my own mothering - but in an "I'm not going to make the same mistakes." kind of way. My mother spent most of her life angry and depressed, and I think she was undiagnosed bipolar. She would flinch if you went to hug her and spent much of her time lost in a book or playing solitaire at the kitchen table. She often told me I raised my brother and sisters, though I don't think I saw that at the time.

On the other hand, when she did laugh, she did it wholeheartedly, unable to stop and tears rolling down her face! She instilled in me the need and desire to keep my siblings together as a family, which I find myself following to this day.

My MIL is a lovely lady, quiet and artistic, albeit reserved. I think she is confused by my rambunctious nature and love of life. I love the fact that she STILL gets down on the floor to play with Steven. Although she doesn't speak or show her feeling often, you just know they are there - and I suppose that's enough.

I've known since I was 10 that I was going to be a mother. I never had any doubt about it. Mothering Steven seems to come easily to me. I have some doubts about things, but they seem small in retrospect - and he's such a great kid! He's easy to talk to, and I DO explain things to him terms of what our relationship may be when he is older. Beyond everything else, he knows he is loved! That's what I really wanted!

Mothering friends? I'm a mama bear... Janet with a big sword (or claws!), defending friends against all who oppose! Supportive, loving... its all good!

:)
I like you lady.
you're a gem

You make me smile! I'm not quite certain what I did to deserve that, but I accept and thank you!

  • 1
?

Log in