I want to talk about mothers.
mother in laws
the good the bad and the ugly.
My mom is fierce and loving.
She's getting old now and that is scary to me.
My mother in law and I have had our ups and downs.
She has some serious issues but I've learned how to realize that some of her behaviors are from those issues, the painful places she is working on healing...that may never be healed and I have managed to create some healthy boundaries in which I am no longer a part of the stage in which she acts out her victim role. Now I feel sadness for her as some of her children and grandchildren are completely cut out of her life. I am grateful for her. She has a strong side that is like a solo artemis of the forest. I've been inspired by her artistry, her solitariness, her connection to nature. She birthed my best friend, my lifes greatest gift. He is the most beautiful person I've met.
I love being a mom. I love my kids and I worry over them like the italian mama I am. I am aware that it's to the point of unhealthiness. I tell the kids I know that. I laugh at myself. We laugh together and make jokes and light of it. I catch myself and apologize. I let them know I am human and imperfect and scared sometimes and that it's ok and please don't take it on. I hope that is enough to spare them from the negative effects but I am uncertain. I have to be ok with that because the awareness is all I have- I work on it but I am a human being, a work in progress. I learn so much from my kids. They and Dean are a constant gift in my life that I am humbled and grateful for.
I have a lot of beautiful friends that have and continue to mother me. Of course they are more than that they are friends too- there is nothing wrong with mothering. When we mother someone why is that like a dirty word or a bad co dependent thing. We need one another. Bring on the mothering. The world is a better place for it and mothers rock.
fully flowered women
- mothers day